Any book that has any sentence resembling the following gem* will never be on my good list.
"I stood at a discreet distance near the far corner of the table, nearly panting as he cut a thick slice, lifted it onto a plate, and sank a plastic fork throughthe voluptuous layer of icing to the moist cake beneath."**

*In fact, it has a good chance of sailing across the room for a spine-splitting landing, if I did that sort or thing.

**From Julie and Julia by Julie Powell.